


she's just the girl for me

by karalovesallthegirls



Series: falling (yes I am falling) [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk Dialing, F/F, Implied past sexual coercion, minor blood and injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karalovesallthegirls/pseuds/karalovesallthegirls
Summary: Lena keeps drunk dialing Kara so of course Kara comes to her rescue.Part two in the drunk!Kara series.Note: This is a heavier, darker chapter than part one. This is Lena's perspective, and I can't write Lena's POV without it being some kind of sad





	she's just the girl for me

_“Hi! You’ve reached Kara Danvers, I’m sorry I couldn’t get to the phone right now, but if you leave-”_  


Click.  


Lena drums her fingers nervously against her phone, thoughts muddled in a haze of alcohol. She hadn’t intended to drink so much tonight, but it’d been a rough day in a rough week in a rough life and sometimes you have to just spend your Friday night drinking alone on your living room floor.  


So now she’s drunk, and she’s antsy, and she can’t stop thinking about how sweetie pie Kara Danvers is a super powered alien that flies around in a miniskirt fighting crime.

Lena just has so, so many questions, but she can’t ask them because she’s trying to be respectful of Kara’s privacy. Secret identities are a secret for a reason, and just because Kara once drunkenly revealed herself to be the caped crusader herself doesn’t mean Lena has any right to prod her about it. She’ll just have to cope with all her questions and worries. 

She knows how to contain her desires; she’s a Luthor. It’s fine if Kara doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s fine. _I’m chill, I can be chill_ , she thinks.

She clicks the button on her phone and calls Kara for the fourth time that night. 

Or is it the fifth? She may have lost track of time after she finished off the bottle of rum she’s been nursing all week. Besides, its so easy to call Kara at this point its basically second nature. Kara is number 2 on her speed dial, after all, with 1 being her assistant. Those are her only speed dial numbers. Those are the only people she ever calls on her personal line.

Anyway, this is the fourth or fifth time tonight she’s done this, and Lena’s decided this time will be her last. In fact, she’s even going to leave an actual voicemail instead of just panicking and hanging up! She’ll apologize for all the calls and they can laugh it off on Monday. This will just be a funny yet somewhat embarrassing anecdote for future conversations. It’ll all be good!

The heavy drunkenness she’d been floating through all day has faded closer to a buzz now, and she’s so distracted by the waves of it washing over her that it takes her a bit to realize Kara’s actually answered for the first time all night.  
  
“-you okay, Lena? Can you hear me?” she hears, and holy shit Lena is too drunk for this.

“Oh. Hello, Kara.” she speaks slowly, enunciating each word with care. Can’t let her know she’s a bit inebriated. “What a surprise.”

“Hi,” Kara says, “Are, um. Are you okay?”  
  
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Careful words. Lena is always so careful.

“Well you’ve just called me, like, twelve times in the past hour and you kept hanging up before I could answer, so I didn’t really know-“

Lena immediately hangs up and chucks her phone across the room.  
  
Perhaps she didn’t think this through all the way.

Lena quickly tries to strategize how to get out of this when her cell phone goes off again, Kara Danvers’ name illuminating the otherwise dark room. It’s so dark in here, has it been this dark the entire time? The phone goes to voicemail, then begins to ring again. Maybe if she just ignores her she’ll stop trying?

No, this is Kara. She’ll never stop. 

Reluctantly, Lena drags herself over to the phone and answers.  
  
“Are you in danger? Say “L Corp” if you’re in danger,” Kara says quickly, sounding like she’s two seconds away from busting through the door to save her, and Lena can’t help but laugh.  
  
“I’m not in danger, Kara. I just,” she sighs, “I seem to be a bit of a drunk dialer is all.”

She can hear the sigh of relief through the phone and honestly, what has she done to earn the care of someone like this?

“Are you downtown?” Kara asks.

“Oh no, I’m home. I didn’t want to deal with being myself in public, so,” and that is definitely not what she meant to say. Lena glares at the empty rum bottle for its betrayal, loosening up her tongue like this. Now Kara isn’t saying anything and Lena really can’t afford to lose Kara so she laughs in that fake way all Luthors know how to do, like it’s all just a joke in the end. It is all just a joke, in the end.  
  
“Are you alone?” Kara asks.

  
“Of course?”  Kara isn’t here, so who else would possibly be with her?

  
“Great! I’ll be there in five minutes!”

  
And then its Kara’s turn to hang up abruptly.

  
Lena stares down at her phone, not entirely sure how or what just happened. And she stares, and she stares, and in what feels like only seconds she hears a sharp knock at the door.

Lena jumps, startled, and accidentally flings the rum bottle straight to the floor. It shatters across the hardwood, and without even thinking Lena falls to her hands and knees to try and pick it up. She’s vaguely aware of glass cutting into her skin but all she can focus on is how stupid she is to make such a mistake. What a fool she is, _pathetic_ , drinking alone and stumbling about like some drunk in the street. She can’t let Kara see her like this, can’t let her see what a mess she’s made of it all. In this moment she feels thirteen, hurrying to fix a mistake before Lillian sees it. She feels the sting of glass in her palm, her knees, even dancing up her forearms, but she can’t focus on anything beyond her anxiety until a rather large glass shard pierces into her palm and draws her eyes to it like a shining light. She just stares down at the jagged piece with wonder. Blood is such a strange thing. She’s seen a lot of it at this point, both from her family and those who might harm her because of them. Maybe that’s all her life will ever amount to - needless, foolish bloodshed.

  
And then suddenly Kara is there. 

  
She's standing in Lena’s living room, she’s helping her up and guiding her to sit on the couch, holding her hand between her own and muttering reassurances. Was she inside before the glass shattered? Lena was fairly certain she hadn’t let her in yet, though awareness can blur sometimes in moments like this.  
  
  
“Don’t move, ohhh don’t move!” Kara is cooing,  “Oh goodness. Where’s your first aid kit?”  


Lena gestures sluggishly towards the bathroom. She’s pretty sure she never answered the door.  
  
“How’d you get in here?” she asks, but Kara’s already gone, and Lena’s gaze shifts back to the blood splattered across her living room floor. A lot more blood than she thought there was a moment before. She sees there’s glass sticking out of her knees, too, although she can’t feel it. This is her favorite part of alcohol- the numbness. She can see the wounds but she can’t feel them. She wishes she could sink into this all the time.  
  
Kara reappears, first aid kit in hand. She looks so beautiful.  
  
“How’d you get in?” Lena asks again. Kara’s blushing - such a pretty blush - and she stutters a bit while she grabs for Lena’s blood-soaked hand.  
  
“What? Oh. Uh, your door knob is broken. Just, shattered. Faulty product, probably. It was like that when I got here. You should get that fixed.” She’s rambling, lying terribly like always. Lena’s pretty sure her door is designed to withstand a battering ram, but she’s still a little too woozy to really invest thought into it. 

“Alright, let’s take a look,” Kara says softly, and her thumb rubs across Lena’s wrist as she tries to gently pull her hands free, as Lena had subconsciously curled in on herself protectively.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve ruined your Friday.”  
  
“No! Don’t worry about it. My only plans were Netflix and an unhealthy amount of pad thai.”  
  
“I have Netflix,” she mumbles, half focused,  “And that new place down on Broadway has Thai. They don't deliver but I can have someone pick it up,” she says as she tries to pull out a piece of glass. Kara’s hand covers hers gently.  
  
“Lena, hey. Let me do that.”

She watches in a distant sort of way while Kara, beautiful wonderful Kara, carefully picks pieces of glass from her palm with a pair of tweezers and gently drops them on to the coffee table. Any sting there may be from the action is drowned out by the heady joy Lena feels just having Kara close, having Kara touch her. It’s honestly just the best feeling.

“Why did you come?” she says suddenly, and then cringes. She doesn’t mean to sound so sharp, she’s just fuzzy from the alcohol and she’s not sure why Kara would even be there.  
  
Kara just smiles, confusion in her eyes, “you’re my best friend, dummy. Why would I not come?”  
  
Lena’s not really sure what to say to that, so instead she watches Kara’s hands.  
  
They’re really nice hands. Lena is no hand expert by any means, but she’s pretty sure Kara has the best hands in the world. Possibly the universe. She is an alien, after all, Lena remembers, and suddenly all she can focus on is that: Kara Danvers is Supergirl. She’s best friends with Supergirl, with her strong alien hands. Kara could probably bench press her, she thinks, probably one handed. Probably with just her fingers-  
  
“Whatcha thinking about?” Kara asks softly, plucking another glass shard from Lena’s skin and dragging her back into the present.

“Your big hands,” Lena blurts out. That was definitely not what she wanted to say.  
  
“Um, thank you?” Kara says slowly, holding her hand up to look at it. “I’ve never really thought about them. Is that… weird?” And oh God, her face looks crestfallen and this is so not what Lena wanted.  
  
“No, no, that’s not,” she catches Kara’s hand in her own and trails her fingertips along her palm before lacing their fingers, trying not to think about how good it feels to touch, “It’s really not bad. It’s a good thing, trust me.”

“Oh, well that’s neat! Why is it a good thing?”

Lena’s just a little too drunk and gay to be having this conversation, she makes a few noncommittal sounds and-

Fuck.  
  
Kara is touching her. She’s so casual when she does things like this, she just slides her fingertips along her arm like its not causing every nerve ending inside of Lena to burn. Casual intimacy isn’t a thing Lena’s ever experienced before, and yet for Kara its as easy as breathing. Which is a bit funny, what with how every casual touch from her makes breathing quite difficult for Lena.

Kara finishes applying the gauze to her knee and pats it gently.  
  
“Good as new!” she says, smiling that thousand-watt smile before reaching for the first aid kit again.  
  
“Are we going to have sex?” Lena blurts out. A cloud of bandaids floats down around them as Kara jerks and accidentally throws the first aid kit across the room. A bandaid lands gently on Lena’s nose. Her eyes cross a bit as she tries to stare at it.

“What?! No, why would you- no, Lena!”

“Oh, you don’t want to?”

“I don’t, I - do you want to?” her voice is surprisingly high pitched.  
  
And Lena has to really think about it because no, she doesn’t really. The pain in her cuts are starting to bleed through her buzz and she’s reaching that stage of drunkenness where all she wants is to be asleep. But it’s Kara, Kara who has been so nice since she got here, since she met her really. Lena’s never really known what to do with that sort of thing, that kindness without agenda. No one in Lena’s life has ever acted without an agenda before.  
  
It’s terrifying. It’s scared Lena endlessly to have someone who gives and gives and gives and never asks for anything in return. Everything is off-balance because of Kara Danvers and Lena would do just about anything to even the scales. She remembers the other night, when she was the sober one, when all Kara wanted was to touch her, and god did she want to let her.

What a relief it is knowing at last that there was something Kara wanted from her, not that it is too much of a surprise. There may be countless weaknesses and shortcomings Lena is well aware of having - a Luthor childhood certainly engrained awareness of one’s own flaws deep into the psyche - but Lena knows she’s attractive. Lust is a concept Lena is intimately acquainted with, and knowing Kara might feel that towards her is just a relief.

She can be that for Kara. Anything she wants, Lena can do.

“I do if you want to,” she finally says, realizing suddenly that she never answered Kara’s question out loud. Kara gives her a panicked look so Lena tries to smile, places her hand firmly on Kara’s knee and rubs her thumb across warm skin. She’s got the beginning of a headache peeking through, but she can easily push through that for Kara. 

Alcohol must be weakening her technique, though, because the panicked look is turning to horror as Kara grabs Lena’s hand gently in her own and lifts it from her knee.  
  
“I don’t think that’s something we should do, Lena,” Kara says slowly, carefully, like it hurts her to push each word out.  
  
This Lena doesn’t understand. Kara pulled the glass out of her hands, Kara brings her lunches and listens to her talk, Kara defends her when everyone else tries to destroy her time and again. Kara gives Lena friendship and acts like its an easy thing, like spending time with her isn’t the soul-draining experience Lena knows it has to be. Lena has to give her something to show her how important that is to her.

“But you gave me bandaids,” she finally says, “and you’ve been so nice to me.”

“They were your bandaids, Lena. And I’m nice to you because I care about you, not because I want to sleep with you.”

  
“Oh,” Lena pauses, blinks, “Well let me know if you change your mind about the sex, okay?”

Kara is giving her the strangest look, like pity or anguish or constipation, and Lena isn’t entirely sure why. Is having sex with her really that unappealing? Maybe Kara wants something else. Lena’s eyes drift close and she snuggles closer to her. Maybe Kara wants a car so she doesn’t have to drive Alex’s mom van all the time.  
  
“I’ll buy you something nice tomorrow, Kara. Something shiny.”  
  
“You don’t need to buy me anything, Lena.”  
  
“And you don’t want to have sex?” Kara shakes her head no. “I don’t understand, what do you want?”  
  
“I just want you to feel better.”

She pulls Lena close to her, trails her fingers softly along her face, over her eyelids, her mouth. Lena sighs.  
  
“You don’t make sense to me, Kara Danvers.”

Kara just makes a noise of confusion - as if Lena is somehow the confusing one here! - and moves off to start cleaning the bloody glass shards from the floor. Lena rolls a bit (on the inside), just floating and watching Kara in a dazed sort of way, until she remembers the thing she’s not supposed to talk about with her that she really, really wants to talk about. 

“So tell me, Kara Danvers,” she says with a coy smile, “are there any secrets you’d like to share?”  
  
Kara stumbles a bit, dropping the glass, before looking sheepishly at her. Lena feels a bit like a cat watching a canary.  
  
“Uh, no, I don’t think-”  
  
“Anything you’d consider a super secret, Kara?”  
  
And god, how has this woman kept her identity a secret from anyone? The look of pure panic and guilt she gives her is as big a tell as any. Lena almost feels bad for a moment, but she’s been dying to talk about this and really the only person she can talk about it with is the person herself, so maybe it’s like those bandaids Kara just applied to her numerous cuts. Just rip it off.  
  
Her hand flops out, bumping against Kara’s face, and she drags slowly until her fingertips pull comically at Kara’s lip and lower eyelid.  
  
“You’re a real… super gal, Kara,” she says slowly, concentrating, “you’re a girl that is just, real super.”

Kara laughs with a frantic energy, her eyes wide and horrified, face taut under Lena’s hand.  
  
“I think you’re real super too, Lena.”  
  
Lena hums, ready to go for the kill, when she’s stopped by a jolt of pain.

“I have a headache,” Lena sighs. “And I have to tell you a secret. Your secret. Or rather, I know a secret about you and I need to-”

her words trail off in a moan as Kara’s fingers move immediately to her head.  
  
“So you have a headache, huh?” Kara says, and her voice is doing that high pitched thing it does whenever she gets nervous, “let me help.”

And God is she helping. Lena doesn’t know how its even possible for a simple head massage to feel this good, but its like she’s ascended to a higher plane of existence. Her hands fist loosely in Kara’s shirt, pulling her closer, her forehead resting on Kara’s shoulder while the other girl runs her fingers through her hair.

Kara scratches her scalp, Lena melts. She’s pretty sure she’d give Kara the world right here and now if she asked for it, and Lena wants to tell her as much but talking doesn’t really feel like an option when everything else feels this good so Lena settles on just pressing a small open-mouthed kiss to the top of Kara’s collarbone. The other girl falters in her ministrations for a moment, but continues the massage after Lena lets out a pitiful moan. Lena doesn’t kiss her again. She falls asleep like that, mouth pressed half-open against Kara. 

She’s not sure how long she’s slept, but when she comes to again Kara is still lightly scratching. 

“What were we talking about,” Lena says after a minute, her eyes half-lidded and hazy. Kara smiles.  
  
“How it’s time for you to go bed.”

“Are we going to have sex?” she asks. Kara sighs.

“No, Lena. We’re not having sex. I am going to pick you up though, if that’s alright. I don’t want you to step in any of the glass.”  
  
Lena just nods and relaxes against her, lets her carry her all the way to her bedroom. Kara settles her gently amidst the sheets, tucking her in like a little burrito. Lena feels a hot flash of panic when she starts to move away, though, and grabs her hand.  
  
“Will you stay?” she asks, “we don’t have to sex if you don’t want to.”  
  
Kara’s staring at her, conflicted, and Lena tries her best not to let that sting. Finally after a moment Kara nods and pulls her jeans off, and climbs into bed beside her. They lay together for a minute before the weight of the unspoken forces Lena to speak.

Her voice is smaller than she wants it to be when she whispers, “Why do you not want to have sex with me?”

Kara makes that face she always does, like she has no idea how to handle whatever it is Lena’s asking her. Lena really likes when she makes that face usually. It’s cute. She doesn’t really like it right now.  
  
“Lena, do you even want to have sex right now or are you just asking if I do?”  
  
“Do I want to have sex?” there’s such slurred confusion in her voice, because she’s been in this scenario before with others, with those who were drawn to her for her money or power or infamy, but she’s never had someone so adamantly ask what she wants. It’s odd. 

“I don’t know. I’m pretty tired,” she finally says. She doesn’t want to reject her.  
  
“If you don’t want to have sex then you don’t need to ask if I want to; that decides it! We aren’t having sex!”  
  
Lena’s starting to get a headache.  
  
“I want to if you want to. You’ve been so nice to me. Do you want to?”  
  
Kara holds her then, cupping her face gently while looking into her eyes. Lena lets her eyes flutter shut. Waits for the kiss, wonders what Kara would like her to do next. No kiss comes, though, and when she looks Kara is just staring intently into her eyes.  
  
“Lena,” she finally says, voice serious, “you don’t have to have sex with someone just because they want to have sex with you, okay? It’s important to me that you know that.”  
  
Lena sits there for a moment, thinks deeply.  
  
“Do you want me to buy you something?” she says after a moment. Her hands are starting to shake a bit in her lap, and she presses them into her legs to calm them. Kara doesn’t want to have sex with her. This one thing she can give Kara doesn’t even want. 

  
“I don’t want anything, Lena,” and she sounds so tired as she says it and Lena just doesn’t know what to do anymore.  
  
“I don’t know what else to give you, Kara,” she says, and she really doesn’t mean to start crying, “Please just let me give you something.”

If she can’t give her something why on earth would she stay?  


“Lena,” and Kara’s so close to her now, her face pressing gently against Lena’s, “you don’t have to give me anything, okay? All I want is for you to be safe and happy. That’s it.”  
  
“I don’t want you to leave me,” she says, sniffling, and Kara swipes her thumb gently under her eye to clear the tears.  
  
“No matter what happens I am here for you, okay? I’m not leaving you. You’re stuck with me now.”

She says it with a smile, and Lena just sort of nods, her forehead bumping softly against Kara’s.

“Kara, I need to tell you a secret.”

“You’re drunk Lena,” Kara whispers back, “don’t say anything you wouldn’t want to say to me sober, okay?”  
  
Lena goes quiet for a few minutes at that, drifting a bit before consciousness creeps back in.  
  
“You’re the best thing I have,” she says suddenly, breaking the stillness, “that I’ve ever had, maybe. That’s my secret.”  
  
It feels good, saying it. Acknowledging the significance. Kara places a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth at that, letting her nose rub across Lena’s.  
  
“You are such a good thing in my life,” she whispers back, “and I care about you so much. I am so glad I found you, Lena Luthor.”

Lena lets out a watery sigh.

“Are you sure we’re not going to have sex?” she finally says. Kara laughs.

“I’m sure.”  
  
Lena nods, then flips over to push her butt against Kara rather demandingly. Kara giggles just a bit but complies, wrapping her arms around to pull Lena close. Lena shudders a bit when Kara’s nose worms its way through her hair to press a kiss to the back of her neck.  
  
Sleep is pulling at the corners of her mind now, and it takes all her focus just to grab Kara’s hand and bring it to her mouth. She presses a desperate sort of kiss there, to the center of her palm, and she holds it there for a few moments before lacing their fingers and tucking their joined hands around her. She hopes in that moment her small gestures might convey even a fraction of what she feels, and gently sleep carries her away.  
—-  
  
Lena wakes to the sound of sizzling. She’s pretty sure she’s never even used the stove in this apartment, let alone have the cooking supplies needed to use it, but sure enough when she trudges her way out she sees Kara cooking away. 

“Good morning,” she mutters, voice thick with sleep. She hasn’t slept that well in years.

  
“Good morning! Hi!” Kara perks up the second she sees her, moving to dump the contents of her pan on to a plate. She’s wearing one of Lena’s college sweatshirts and old pajama pants, her hair in a messy bun and her glasses somewhat lopsided. Lena has never seen anyone more beautiful. She walks towards her. Kara begins to babble.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I made some eggs and pancakes, and also I have donuts. Also muffins from this shop I saw around the corner,” Lena steps into her space, presses her back, “And I, oh jeez, there’s the counter, um, I also can run down again to get you something else, I-”  
  
Kara’s breathing stutters off nervously, her mouth moving like she’s still babbling away but with no sound coming out. Smiling, Lena leans forward until her forehead meets against Kara’s, noses brushing, just breathing her in for a moment.  
  
“I’d really like to kiss you now, Kara Danvers,” Lena whispers, and she can feel Kara’s soft exhale against her lips, feel the phantom touch of her tongue as she nervously lick at her bottom lip. Lena waits, eyes closed, until she feels Kara nodding against her, feels the soft breath of _‘yes please’_ dance across her lips.

Slowly, Lena presses a kiss to her lips. It’s soft pressure, sweet and chaste, but she can feel how Kara practically melts against her. She can’t help but smile into it, and she kisses her again and again. She’s pretty sure Kara isn’t breathing, that she hasn’t breathed in a little while. Slowly Lena pulls away, laughing breathlessly at Kara leaning forward to follow.

Lena enjoys the moment, watching Kara, eyes closed face squinting, as she seems to process what just happened. Slowly, Kara’s eyes open.  
  
“Thank you so much,” Kara finally says, dazed. “I mean, I don’t mean thank you for kissing me, I just- wow,”

Lena giggles.  
  
“Thank you,” Kara says again, then cringes, “dammit.”

Lena just laughs and, deciding to spare her from the babble she can already see waiting to burst free, pulls her in for another.

 

**Author's Note:**

> One time I stepped on a shattered glass and didn’t know I had a huge piece wedged in my heel until my friends pointed out the trail of bloody footprints following me around. don’t get drunk around glass, kids.
> 
> There is one more part to come! Part three is "we really shouldn't date because it can hurt our careers but let's drunkenly decide what is and is not acceptable behavior for platonic friends! Whoops touched your boob, that's friendly right?"


End file.
